Memory of a Son
by siriuslyundefined
Summary: With amnesia, Gibbs is back in Mexico with Mike Franks. But as memories quickly come forward one night, Gibbs comes to a realization that he doesn't want to remember. His gut tells him something awful has happened and it would be easier to forget. AU


**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or anything about it. **

**Spoilers from Season 1-8 (Chained, SWAK, Twilight, Hiatus, and Baltimore), maybe a few others I can't remember. **

**A/N: Gibbs may be a little OOC but you will understand once you've read it. This is not canon but does follow a little bit of the storylines throughout the seasons. **

**Attn to readers of HAPPENSTANCE—I do have it finished but I have not decided if I want to post the rest of the chapters as of right now. I know I posted the first chapter back in 2010, but after a lot of consideration, it needs a lot of work. So right now, that story is on Hiatus, though it will be updated before July 4.**

**This was going to be a one-shot but it turned out longer than I thought. So I decided to split this into 2 parts. **

**R/R**

*****I re-arranged some stuff into my own words or words I wished that would have been said. So I'm not completely taking what was said in the show but it all happened the same in what situation I wrote about. Not slash but a father/son fiction.**

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><p>X.X.X<p>

Gibbs did not like to sleep at night, he liked to drink his nights away before falling asleep or passing out. His dreams always consisted of his two lost girls. How they blamed him for not being there to protect them. It was still fresh in his mind, seeing the crime photos of the bloody mess left behind when he could actually look at them before being interrupted by puking or tears distorting his vision.

Though there were nights when he dreamt of them, all of them, laughing and playing games. He and Shannon watching Kelly play with her Barbie's or when she yelled at the neighbor boys that there shall be dire consequences if they even dared to take a peek up the skirt of her favorite doll. Which caused Gibbs and Shannon to share a laugh, their daughter was going to be the female version of Gibbs. As it was obviously known that Kelly was daddy's little girl and she wanted to be just like him when she grew up. She was a little spitfire who could stand her ground yet be quiet at times, just like Gibbs. She took no nonsense but also took everything to heart, like her momma.

Dreaming of happy memories were few and far between, if he dreamt at all.

Blinking back tears that were threatening to cause a tide and run down his face in one big swoop, Gibbs sighed as he looked towards the figure lying on the couch.

Gibbs quietly groaned as he knew it was going to be a long night ahead. He didn't drink at all tonight, and Mike Franks was already passed out as he got a call earlier that night from the Cantina that Mike needed to be taken home.

Looking out towards the ocean, he grabbed the last beer in the fridge and made his way towards the beach. It was a calm night, no breeze and no clouds in the sky. He looked up at the stars before settling down on the sand. Taking a swig from his bottle he laid down on his back to see which constellations he could make out.

After awhile he took a deep breath and looked at his surroundings. Hiding in Mexico was the best he could do right now, his boss was here, and he knew Franks would look out for him. He left D.C. about four months ago, almost going on five, after getting caught in an explosion. For the life of him, he couldn't remember anything after joining NCIS in 1993.

Well, not full memories, he did get flashes here and there. They come on unexpectedly, that is another reason why he only stays at the house or the Cantina, only if he can get a booth in the back corner where he can make an exit through the back. He didn't want to have face to face encounters with anyone right now.

He has bits and pieces of memories of when he first joined NCIS, and Franks was able to help him pull the pieces together. He remembered after a year of joining he ended up in Paris somehow. Only getting flashes of a red-headed woman, a house on fire, and a rundown place in the desert that had bullet holes everywhere, and a gun; though he had no idea which order they were supposed to be in.

He remembered when Mike decided to retire and fled to this place. Gibbs looked up towards the beach where he could see the outline of Mike's house, or whatever he wants to call it, it technically wasn't a house but it did have the essentials and was livable.

Rubbing a hand over his face and chugging down the rest of his beer, Gibbs stayed where he was. Looking at the stars, something in his gut was telling him to continue looking up at them, to remember. Gibbs frowned as he searched the sky that was littered with millions of stars and a full moon. A slight breeze started to pick up but it didn't bother Gibbs.

Something was wrong. _Terribly wrong._ His gut was churning, like he needed to be somewhere but was lost at sea.

Thinking back to a conversation he and Mike got started on a month ago when he asked Mike if there is anything he should know about after catching the older man giving him a sad look from the corner of his eye. Mike just gave him another odd look before swallowing hard and asking him if he remembered anything about his current team. "Current team?" he asked the older man. He knew he was the leader of the MCRT but didn't know that he constantly went through subordinates like toilet paper before finally finding the agent he could, no wanted, to groom; his probie. He did get flashes of a lot of people that took his orders, but none of them lasted more than a second. No enough time for him to fully grasp the picture of each person.

Apparently he was considered a bastard but he got the job done quickly and efficiently. Rumors were that he didn't speak often, only a few words at time, and was the best person to interrogate a suspect in interrogation room as he quickly got suspects to speak up about the crime they committed.

It was a given fact that Gibbs did not praise people often and had a tendency to always be a hard-ass to his team, from what Mike told him. Then Mike gave him that look again and patted his shoulder before heading back outside. He hadn't talked to Mike about the conversation again since he couldn't even remember the names or faces of those on his team or other co-workers.

The past few months have been a whirlwind for him, emotionally and physically. Yeah he was a Marine, but a man could only handle so much. Underneath all the turmoil he faced being here, there was something under the surface just begging to come out but he knew that once it got out everything would change, and he wasn't ready for it. Whatever 'it' is, he knew that would be the reason why Mike always glanced at him and asked him if he was alright. For Mike to even do that, for the hard-ass man that he is, it had to be something traumatic.

Mike was still quick witted and sometimes harsh with his words but he means well. Under that tough exterior is a man he trusts with his six, and would willingly give his life to. His former boss still had his six even when he was over 1000 miles away. He remembered Mike saying once, "You're my probie. Once a probie always probie. Have a lot to teach ya till the day I die."

_Probie_.

The word brought chills down his back even thinking about it. There was something about that word that made his heart race rapidly, yet made him swell with pride.

Not wanting to go to sleep yet, Gibbs decided he needed to go down to the basement and work on his boat. Gibbs got ready to stand up only to fall back down on his back as a memory forced its way through his mind. A memory, not of Shannon or Kelly, but a memory of a hazel-eyed man with sunglasses hanging down the front collar of his shirt.

"_The name's DiNozzo. Detective Anthony DiNozzo. That's a big 'D', little 'i', big 'N', and little 'ozzo'. Remember that Special Agent L.J. Gibbs." Gibbs glared at the man who was being a sarcastic smart-ass only to have the younger man give him a big smile._

"_I let you catch me." Gibbs said to the younger man who had him in handcuffs. The man rolled his eyes and shoved him into the chair with a ''whatever". _

"_Wow, not a fan of the orange."_

"_I don't think I'm meant to work in law enforcement. I'm…" the man stopped suddenly as Gibbs gave him a head-slap. "Hey! That's assault, I can have you arrested…"_

_Gibbs gently patted his future probie on the cheek. "You're good. I don't waste good. Now go." Gibbs turned the younger man so he could face the other direction that faced the door, Human Resources. Gibbs smirked before walking off and smiled big when he saw DiNozzo fixing his hair in the reflection of the HR sign before knocking and going in. Gibbs quickly changed his facial expression to his usual glare._

Gibbs gasped as those few memories flooded him as he began to remember. Gibbs tried to get up and yelled for Mike only to fall back down as more memories flushed forward.

"_Kate Todd."_

"_You think Tony is going to be alright Gibbs?"_

"_Only DiNozzo can get chained to a serial killer."_

"_Will you two stop bickering before I head-slap you into the next century."_

"_This is obviously my letter…"said a smirking DiNozzo who pointed to the red-lip stain on the back of the letter before opening it. Only to have a burst of white powder gently creating a dust cloud around the shocked agent._

"No! Stop! Don't! Give it to me!" Gibbs jumped up from the sand flinging his arm to grab something from mid-air. Looking around frantically he realized he wasn't in the bullpen.

"Oh God." Gibbs moaned as he felt a tight pain on the left side of his chest. It was getting harder for him to breathe and as he looked up at the sky, all the stars twirled together.

"Probie!" he heard a yell but wasn't quite sure before the head of Mike Franks popped suddenly into his line of vision. "Miiike…" Gibbs moaned.

"Hold on…ca…Gib…where…alright…house…"

"_You. Will. Not. Die."_

"_Bourbon. Boat. Basement."_

"_Are you sure you're up to it? You have another week of sick leave." "I'm fine Boss."_

"_You're on protection detail."_

"_You can stop protecting me."_

_Gibbs looked at the blood splattered on DiNozzo's shocked face before pushing him down to the ground. Sensing that Ari was nowhere near anymore, he looked down at the prone form of Caitlyn Todd and pretended to not notice the tear that silently fell down his senior field agent's face._

"Breathe Gibbs. Ya with me?" Gibbs jolted awake as he felt a slight head tap.

"Had me worried there for a sec Probie."

"What happened?" asked Gibbs trying to move himself up on the couch before being pushed back down. He glared at his former boss who was lighting a cigarette with a frown. Mike walked towards the window and pulled back the curtain, letting sunshine brighten the room.

"What do ya remember?"

"I asked you first."

"And I'm askin' ya what ya remember." snapped Mike.

"I…I remember DiNozzo, and Kate." whispered Gibbs, trying not to think about losing his agent in the line of fire. Right in front of him.

"Be more specific." Gibbs narrowed his eyes at Mike, who rolled his eyes at him.

"When I first met DiNozzo in Baltimore and when I brought him to NCIS headquarters so he could work with me. Meeting Kate for the first time aboard Air Force One. Her and DiNozzo bickering as usual but I could tell they both cared for each other…not like that," said Gibbs as he saw Mike's eyebrow go upwards, "like siblings. DiNozzo depressed about this and that, and me invitin' him over for steak. Him catching that damn plague. Then Kate…dying."

"Well…at least you're handling it better this time."

"What?" Gibbs looked up at Mike sharply before another memory came forth.

"_Get outta there boss!"_

"_BOSS!"_

"_You'll do." said Gibbs leaving behind a team and two other co-workers, as he handed Tony his badge and gun before walking towards the elevator, and not looking back._

Gibbs stared at the stained ceiling wondering what mess he got himself into this time. He remembered the other figures…Abby and Ducky. But he couldn't remember the other two people in the bullpen. Then grunted as he remembered giving Abby her Caf-Pows and quick pecks on the cheek, and Ducky's ever going long stories about some mishap or history.

"What happened? What kind of explosion was I in?" asked Gibbs as he finally settled himself into a sitting position. Then thanked his lucky stars that he left Tony in charge, though it was hard to admit that was the wrong way to do it, but who could blame him, he didn't exactly remember the guy. Just that his gut told him he was a very capable guy and to trust him. Now he was saddened as he left behind his agent, one that he needed to tell something important but couldn't remember what he needed to tell his senior agent. That was another huge piece missing, though he was deeply sad about the loss of Kate, he was just glad that it wasn't DiNozzo. And he didn't feel guilty about it. He knew he should feel horrible for thinking that but he couldn't.

"Damn. Hate to break it to ya kid but I ain't gettin any younger, my lungs are killing me. We thought bringing ya back here would help your memories like last time. Though ya still didn't have em all back then. I know ya been slowly gettin em back the few years after that but …"

"What are you talking about?" snapped Gibbs throwing the blanket off him and standing up before a wave of dizziness knocked him back into the couch.

"What you're thinkin of happened four years ago probie. And believe me a lot of important shit happened in those years, and some of the earlier years that ya don't quite remember yet. But ya will. I know it." Mike said as he left the room only to come back with a small box in his hands a minute later.

"Probie. I know this is hard and ya have lots of questions but it's important that ya remember. Six months ago ya called me to come back to D.C. because you needed to give me something important. Something important 'bout DiNozzo. Said that if anything happened to ya and ya lived, I was supposed to give this to ya no matter what. I was goin to wait another month but ya obviously started getting some of your memories back three days ago and …"

"Three days ago!"

"Well yeah probie. Ya been layin there on the couch since I brought ya in. Thought I was goin crazy since I was still drunk but heard ya loud and clear yelling that DiNozzo's hide was yours and ya whimperin' that you'll find the killer…you don't remember that do ya I reckon." chuckled Mike.

"I don't understand." Gibbs put his head in his hands, he had no idea what was happening. What killer? What was so important about DiNozzo. Things were happening too fast, he couldn't grasp the concept yet. Four years ago?

"I called 't Sass with Me Director Vance. Eugh. (Mike spit on ground) But things have been happening back in headquarters the last few days. Life alterin' things. They need ya back. Sec Nav is breathing down Vance's neck, your team hasn't been on rotation, only workin' cold cases. There's a new team that's leading the MCRT, but there's a serial killer putting focus on NCIS. And I reckon it's my time to come back too." stated Mike giving Gibbs an indecipherable look.

Swallowing back down whatever stomach contents he had left and not fully grasping the situation like he should have. Gibbs grabbed the small box from Mike's hands. The wood work was his, he could tell, and there was a small keyhole. He looked at Mike who said, "Never opened it, ya told me to tell ya rule number 9."

"_Did you tell that kid about some kind of Marine rules?"_

"_Said something about always having a knife…"_

"_You are irreplaceable."_

"Knife."

"What?"

"Give me your knife." Gibbs caught the pocket knife that Mike threw at him. Gibbs remembered writing down rules, but couldn't remember all of them; some of them were just instinct. As he twisted the knife into the box, his gut was churning an awful feeling.

"_Boss, I know my father hasn't exactly been a good father..." started DiNozzo._

"_Ya think!" barked Gibbs startling DiNozzo who gave him a wide-eyed expression._

"_I just wanted…I wanted you to know…here." DiNozzo threw an envelope towards Gibbs as he made a quick exit back up the stairs. _

_Opening the envelope and reading it, Gibbs smiled with watery eyes as he read the father's day card with a picture of him and DiNozzo, one that Ducky obviously took._

Opening the box and looking inside, Gibbs wished he hadn't.

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><p><strong>Memory of a Son – Memory of a Son – Memory of a Son – Memory of a Son<strong>

There were three ways I wrote this story, and I decided with this one. For I have an idea for another story. This is a two parter. I know I kind of went slow in the beginning then rushed the ending of this first part. But I needed to do that before actually getting into part 2 . Hope you enjoyed. Part 2 will be uploaded in the next few days. More detailed memories will come, and the actual relationship between Gibbs and Tony.


End file.
